he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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