So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
