I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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