I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
