Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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