Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
