Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
