why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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