I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
