i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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