I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize