Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
