some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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