Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
