my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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