Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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