Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
