remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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