it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize