Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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