you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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