dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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