Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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