Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
