My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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