if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
