Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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