help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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