i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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