Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
