We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
