don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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