After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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