addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
