Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
