Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
