I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
