my sisters under your porch take her home
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
