i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
