she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
