The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
