Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Randomize
