omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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