Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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