is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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