barbara walters just said penis...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
