literally had 100 drinks last night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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