I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
