i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
