She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
