well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
