so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
