Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
