And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
