my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
