...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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