he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
