don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
