Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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