fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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