So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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