your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
