And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
