Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
