By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
